A nudist girl wearing three raisins 
            A masquerade prize was her goal. 
                The judges said, "Lookie, 
                From the front she's a cookie, 
            And the back she's a Parker House roll. 

                            Ten Little Gigabytes
     
   
Ten little gigabytes, waiting on line
one caught a virus, then there were nine.

Nine little gigabytes, holding just the date,
someone jambed a write protect, then there were eight.

Eight little gigabytes, should have been eleven,
then they cut the budget, now there are seven.

Seven little gigabytes, involved in mathamatics
stored an even larger prime, now there are six.

Six little gigabytes, working like a hive,
one died of overwork, now there are five.

Five little gigabytes, trying to add more
plugged in the wrong lead, now there are four.

Four little gigabytes, failing frequently,
one used for spare parts, now there are three.

Three little gigabytes, have too much to do
service man on holiday, now there are two.

Two little gigabytes, badly over run,
took the work elsewhere, now just need one.

One little gigabyte, systems far too small
shut the whole thing down, now there's none at all.
  

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,

everybody was stoned, even a mouse.

The stockings were stuffed with pretzels and beer,

and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

The children were wrestling quietly in bed,

with sexy visions of masterbating in their heads.

All of sudden there came such a clatter,

I jumped off my wife's back to see what was the matter.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, 

from the sound of the crash i knew the fat motherfucker fell.

He snapped to his feet in a sudden flash,

he forgot to cover the crack of his ass.

He showed me the bird from his stubby little hands,

then he whipped out his box of sex toys and giant rubber bands.

All were thrown on the Tree at the same time,

He jumped with the fucking clock chimed.

He flew up the chimney just as fast as he came down,

I could tell he was some kind of professional clown.

He whipped dasher, dancer, and prancer, and vixon,

He kicked comit, cupid, donder and blitzen.

He shrieked loudly into the pale midnight,

Piss on all of you, and have a hell of a night!


Sent by Rob

THE MORNING SONG....FOR NON-MORNING PEOPLE

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still.
When suddenly a tiny bird,
Perch on my window sill.

He sang a song so lovely,
So carefree and so gay.
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away.

He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun.
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers,
Crept slowly out of bed.
And gently lowered the window,
And crushed his fucking head.

Robert

A corpulent lady named Kroll
Had an idea exceedingly droll:
She went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
And backed in as a Parker House roll.