There was an old man from Pinole 
               Who always got in the wrong hole, 
                    And when he withdrew, 
                    All covered with goo, 
               His temper was out of control. 

There was a young fellow named Charteris 
               Put his hand where his young lady's garter is. 
                    She said, "I don't mind, 
                    And up higher you'll find 
               The place where my fucker and farter is." 

A stingy old man of St. Giles 
               Saved his shillings with miserly wiles. 
                    Just to save a few bob 
                    He would wipe with a cob, 
               And that way he got piles and piles! 

I hate you, you hate me,
We're a disfunctional family.
Then a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor,
No more fucking dinosaur.

               Said Senator David I. Walsh, 
               "These charges against me are false. 
                    Though I did go to Brooklyn 
                    For sooklyn and fooklyn, 
               Not a gob laid his hands on my balsh."