Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse. 

There was a young lady named Hatch 
               Who would always come through in a scratch. 
                    If a guy wouldn't neck her, 
                    She'd grab up his pecker 
               And shove the damn thing up her snatch. 

               There was an old soldier named Schmitt 
               Took a trip to the can for to shit. 
                    To his epic despair 
                    No paper was there. 
               So he simply continued to sit. 

There was an old maid from Bermuda 
               Who shot a marauding intruder. 
                    It was not her ire 
                    At his lack of attire, 
               But he reached for her jewels as he screwed her. 

For sculpture that's really first class 
               You need form, composition, and mass. 
                    To do a good Venus 
                    Just leave off the penis, 
               And concentrate all on the ass.