"Remind me, dear," said Sir John Keith, 
            "As soon as I've finished my teeth, 
                To take down this glass 
                And examine my ass 
            From behind---and of course from beneath." 

There was a young lady named Rackstraw,
Titillated herself with a hack-saw.
As a result of this action
She no longer has traction,
And a penis feels just like a jackstraw.

I knew a girl from St. Paul 
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball. 
Someone set it on fire 
And burned here entire 
Front Page, Sporting Section and all. 

There once was a woman from Niczes
Whose breasts were two different sizes
One it was small
It was nothing at all
The other was large and won prizes

Sent by karen

Stuffing the turkey at Christmas
Reminded me of you
The melons in the market
The pears and peaches too
Cracking open Christmas nuts
Brought memories of your gentle touch
But all the while it hurt so much
'cos I'm still in love with you...


Copyright: D. Harvey 1998.