The nipples of Sarah Strong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover
Who was pained to discover
She expected no less of his dong. 

There was a young cowboy named Gary 
               Who was morbidly anxious to marry, 
                    But he found the defection 
                    Of any erection 
               A difficuly factor to parry. 

He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"

Part 1 of 2:
   
                    There was a young girl with a pretty-ass,
                            
                    And her habits were neat but invidious.
                            She would wipe with a taper
                            Of scented blue paper,
                            
                    Since she was so very fastidious.
                            

There was a young fellow named Malcolm 
            Who dusted his ass-hole with talcum. 
                He'd always use it 
                Everytime that he shit, 
            And found the sensation quite welcome.