Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian?

He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.

A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.
He says,"You have acute vaginitis."
She says "Thank you."

   An older woman was in the pastoral study counceling for her upcoming
   fourth wedding.
   "Father," she said, "How am I going to tell my husband that I am still
   a virgin?" "My
   child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that
   cannot be," he replied.
   "Well Father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted
   to do was talk. The
   next one was in construction and he always said he'd get to it
   tomorrow. The last one was
   a gynecologist and all he did was look at it. But this time, Father,
   I'm marrying a lawyer,
   so I'm sure I'm going to get screwed this time!"
   

A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. 
During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much 
about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After 
the game they ask her, "How is it that you know so much 
about baseball?"

She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change."

The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process. 

"What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when 
they cut IT off?"

"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."

"Was it when they cut off your balls?"

"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."

"What was the most painful part?"

"The part that hurt the most was when they cut my salary in 
half!"

There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for women.
This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her she can just
go to work.