Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems of "Tomahawk" 
missiles -- now they're called "Boomerang."

The  Y-Zero-K Problem 

Translated from a recently discovered Latin scroll dated 2BC 

Dear Cassius: 

  Are you still working on the Y zero K problem?  This change 
from  BC to AD is giving us many headaches; there is not much 
time left.  I don't know how citizens will cope with working the 
wrong way around.  Having been working happily downwards 
forever, now we have to start  thinking upwards.  You would think 
that someone would have thought of  this earlier and not left it to 
us to sort it out at the last minute. 

I spoke to Caesar the other evening.  He was livid that Julius 
hadn't  done something about it when he was working out the 
calendar.  He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty.  We 
called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing 
downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a 
fortune for doing nothing useful.  Surely, we will not have to 
throw out all our hardware and start again?  Macrohard will 
make yet another fortune out of this, I suppose. 

The money lenders are paranoid of course!  They have been 
told that all  usury rates will invert, and they will have to pay 
their clients to take out loans.  It is an ill wind... . 

As for myself, I just cannot see how the sand in an hourglass 
will flow upwards.  We have heard that there are three wise men 
in the East who have been working on the problem, but 
unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over. 

I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at 
midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will 
stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to 
chariots and possible loss of  life.  Some say the world will 
cease to exist at the moment of  transition. 

Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this acursed Y zero 
K  problem.  I will send you a parchment if anything further 
develops. 

If you have any ideas please let me know, 

Plutonius 


Sent by Marina

Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??

He thought it was a delivery service.

The young lady admired the watch in the store window every 
time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day 
and said, "Just how much is that watch?"

"It's $2000, ma'am."

"Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?"

"Just what sort of 'time schedule' did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking two times a week for the next two months."

Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 

'cause he was dead...

Why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree? 

'cause he was dead too...

Why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree?

peer pressure...