A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy
   look like?"
   Father responds, "well son, before or after sex?"
   Son, "Well, before?"
   Father, "picture a tulip with all the petals son."
   Son, "well what about after?"
   Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!"
   

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M's Factory?

She threw away all the w's.


Sent by Chris

   Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
   inspection. The first one
   says:"I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand." St. Peter
   says:"You see the bowl
   of holy water, wash your hand and go in." The second says:"I have to
   confess, I held
   mans penis in both hands." St. Peter:"Wash both your hands and go in.
   Suddenly the
   other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
   pulls them apart, asks
   *What's going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
   washes her ass in
   there.
   

I went out with my girlfriend and asked her,
"Why is it everytime I go out with you, I end up
spending hundreds of dollars?"

"Because I'm a prostitute." 

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?? 

    An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.