One of the criteria by which Miss Nude USA was
chosen in 1979 was 'taste in clothing'

The "Environmental Engineering News" published some rather sobering 
information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other 
countries. 

In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in
newspapers under the caption, "He's drunk and in jail." 
In Malaysia the driver is jailed and, if married, the
spouse is jailed. 
In the United Kingdom, Finland and Sweden there's an
automatic jail term of one year. 
In Turkey, drunk drivers are driven 20 miles out of town
and forced to walk back. 
In Bulgaria, a second drunk-driving conviction results
in capital punishment. 
In El Salvador, your first offense is your last -- execution
by firing squad.

My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first 
mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet 
doors was ajar.I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why 
she was  keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the 
kitchen??? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me 
that those were for special occasions".

Now fast forward a few months...

It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and 
his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were 
gone.
Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first 
and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then 
began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came 
mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on 
the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork 
carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they 
didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the 
other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were 
for special occasions!"