On our last vacation, my wife and I saved some money by staying in
a cheap hotel. Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the sounds
of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room.

At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed, in that it was
keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked off.

After half an hour we were pretty damned impressed. 

I wanted to make an impression at a family reunion and remember the 
names of all of the new husband's family members.  There was one 
gent whom I'd asked his name and tried very to remember but failed 
repeatedly.  Finally he bailed me out and said his name was Dick.  
Without a thought I quickly said, "Gosh, how could I forget?  You 
*look* like a 'Dick'!!!"

Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging 
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness 
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a 
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized 
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms 
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the 
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart 
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife 
were reconciled.