To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a support Group

"You have to take a lighter approach now.  Jumping up on a table in a busy
 restaurant, swinging from the ceiling fans, and screaming, 'YOU'RE ALL GONNA
 BURN IN HELL,' just scares people away."
                        -- Interview with Steven Forker, on his future role
                           as the Third Coming of Christ, in Precious the
                           Cow Magazine (from the sig of Lt. Wilkes)

"Oh no! I can't go to the deli! My singles cover has lapsed!"
                        -- Lyndall Holmes

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America,
and the only regret I have was that I didn't
study Latin harder in school so I could
converse with those people." 

    - J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President 

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite.
       Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone.
       "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."