When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. 

     - Henny Youngman 

The major difference between hating and loving is perhaps that
whereas to love somebody is to be fulfilled and enriched by the
experience, to hate somebody is to be diminished and drained by it.
Lovers, by losing themselves in their loving, find themselves, become
themselves.  Hater simply lose themselves.  Theirs is the ultimately
"consuming" passion.
        --Frederick Buechner

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

If you can't say something nice about someone, you are
probably talking about the Ayatollah Khomeini.

     -Steve Martin 

"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit."

Mel Brooks.