"I went to watch Pavarotti once.
He doesn't like it when you join in."

Mick Miller.

"It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line."

     - Woody Allen, from Play It Again, Sam 

"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths."
   --- Baroness Edith Summerskill

"We don't want the television script good. We want it Tuesday."

Dennis Norden.

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this 
look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"

                -Dave Barry