There was an old fellow from Roop 
               Who'd lost all control of his poop. 
                    One evening at supper 
                    His wife said, "Now, Tupper, 
               Stop making that noise with your soup!" 

There once was a fellow named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave, 
The smell was grotesque,
The pussy the best,
And look at the money he saved!

Sent by dave

There was a young lady of Joppa
            Who came a society cropper. 
                She went to Ostend 
                With a gentlemen friend--- 
            The rest of the story's improper. 

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

When a woman in strapless attire 
               Found her breasts working higher and higher, 
                    A guest, with great feeling, 
                    Exclaimed, "How appealing! 
               Do you mind if I piss in the fire?"