There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 
                                      

There was an old woman'
     who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children
     that her cunt fell off!!

Another young lady would make 
               Advances to snake after snake. 
                    Though men she had met 
                    Got her diaphragm wet, 
               She wanted her glottis to shake. 

While in Athens a tourist named Joan
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

There was a young man from Bengal
Who got in a hole in a wall.
"Oh," he said, "It's a pity
This hole is so gritty,
But it's better than nothing at all."