On the breasts of a barmaid named Gail
                            
                    Was tattoo'd the price of her ale.
                            And for the sake of the blind
                            Upon her behind
                            
                    Was the same information in Braille.
                            

Tombstone Epitaph:

Here lies a nun, she lived to the age of one hundred and ten
She gave to the worms what she refused to men

I'd cross the hottest desert,
I'd swim the deepest sea,
I'd climb the highest mountain,
But I can't come over tonight because it's raining.

There was a sad prude out in Iowa 
               Who would say, "Please say it my way: 
                    Do not say fuck, 
                    It don't rhyme with duck. 
               Say untcay and itshay and uckfay." 

The life of a clerk of the session 
               Was strangled in psychic repression. 
                    But his maladies ceased 
                    When his penis uncreased 
               In straight geometric progression.