There once was a guy named Dave,
Who dug up a whore from a grave.
She was moldy and shitty,
And only had one titty
But look at the money he saved!

There was a young fellow named Oakum
               Whose brags about fucking were hokum, 
                    For he really preferred 
                    To suck cocks and stir turd--- 
               He was Queen of the Flits in Hoboken. 

There was a young girl of Machias
Whose bloomers were cut on the bias,
With an opening behind
To let out the wind,
And to let the boys in once or twias.

Mary had a little lamb (The sad European version)

Mary had a little lamb,
its coat was full off fleas,
but even worse the little cunt
had foot and mouth disease.

Mary had a little lamb,
its mouth was full of blisters,
but now its on a bonfire,
with all its brothers and sisters.

Sent by Jack

On his honeymoon sailing the ocean 
               A tightwad displayed much emotion 
                    When he learned, one fine day, 
                    He'd been fucking away 
               What could have been bottled as lotion.