A group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cook
saw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner he
cooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking and
ignoring the cook. He pulled one aside and asked, "Did I screw up the
cooking..." "No", the cowboy replied, "You cooked up the screwing."

Why are men like blenders?

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

A man running a little behind schedule arrives at a picture theatre, goes 
in to watch the movie that has already started, and as his eyes adjust to 
the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in 
the row ahead, intently watching the movie.  It even seemed to be enjoying 
the movie:  wagging its tail in the happy bits, drooping its ears at the 
sad bits, and hiding its eyes with its paws at the scary bits.  After the 
movie, the man approaches the dogs owner,
"Jeez mate, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie.  I'm amazed!"
"Yes, I'm amazed also," came the reply.  "He hated the book."

A Jesuit, a Dominican and a Franciscan were walking along an old road, 
debating the greatness of their orders. Suddenly, an apparition of the 
Holy Family appeared in front of them, with Jesus in a manger and Mary and 
Joseph praying over him. The Franciscan fell on his face, over come with 
awe at the of sight God born in such poverty. The Dominican fell to his 
knees, Adoring the beautiful reflection of the Trinity and the Holy 
Family. The Jesuit walked up to Joseph, put his arm around his shoulder, 
and said, "So, where ya thinking of sending the kid for school? 

                          The Numbers of the Beast
     
   
OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.

But did you know that:

660             - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI          - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000        - Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666           - Number of the Millibeast
/ 666           - Beast Common Denominator
666 ^ (-1)      - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010      - Binary of the Beast
6, uh... what was that number again?
                - Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666           - Area code of the Beast
00666           - Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666: - Live Beasts!  One-on-one pacts!  Call Now!
                  Only $6.66/minute.  Over 18 only please.
$665.95         - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25         - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95         - Price of the Beast with all accessories and
                  replacement soul
$656.66         - Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66         - Next week's Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666    - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666       - Way of the Beast
666 F           - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k            - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg          - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 %          - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell
                  National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6     - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66       - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686          - CPU of the Beast
666i            - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised)
                - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668             - Next-door neighbor of the Beast