There was this boy in high school that was what you would
consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement
of his home and one night he came up and said "Dad look
what I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of
soil and instantly grass started to grow.

Of course his dad was really impressed with this and asked
his son if he can make something to make his penis grow.

His son thought for a minute and said that if he did then
dad would have to buy him a convertable.

Dad agreed. 

The next night the son came out of the basement and gave his
dad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and told
him that he had something to show him. They went to the front
yard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari.

The son looked at his dad and said "I only asked for a convertable."

The dad replied "the convertable is in the garage. The Ferrari is
from your mother." 

The following was contributed by Emil:

A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,
"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- I'll have a
large whiskey please, barman." The man takes his whiskey and downs it. 
"Same again?" asks the barman. "Okay" says the man and downs the second. 
He then orders a third and a forth and downs them both.In fact in total
he downs 27 whiskeys. "Do you want another?" asks the barman. "No I don't 
think so", says the man, "If 27 whiskeys won't take away the taste
I don't think that another one will!"

One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a 
woman gain five pounds.

Q: How do you pick up TWA flight attendants?
A: With a fishing pole!

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. 

     Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.