Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."

"I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!" 

Do you know why there aren't any ice cubes in Poland?

The inventor died and took the recipe with him.

A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hoped
to attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he 
stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked:  "Sir, can you please
tell me where your library is at?"
The man looked down his nose and replied: "Son, I'm head of the English 
department, and I can assure you we don't end our sentences with 
prepositions. Re-cast your sentence in a proper form and I will reply."
"Can you tell me where your library is at, ass-hole?"

Sent by Randy

The boss called one of his employees into the office.  "Rob," he 
said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off 
in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales 
position, and one month after that you were promoted to district 
manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, 
you were promoted to vice- chairman. Now it's time for me to 
retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you 
say to that?" 

"Thanks," said the employee. 

"Thanks?" the boss replied.a "Is that all you can say?" 

"I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad." 

Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is using a feather... kinky is using the whole chicken.