Two GI's in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench 

for three days when one needs a shit.

"I can't go in here" he says" It's really going to stink"

"There's another trench over there" says the other.

"I'll cover you with the M60.... just give me a shout and

and i'll cover you so you can get back"

"OK"  so the GI runs across while the other fires off the

machine gun.

He's waiting 10 minutes......15.......20....

he shouts out "Are you Ok?".....nothing.



Over an hour later he hears his mate shouting.

"Cover me i`m coming back"

When he jumps back in, his mate says "Where the fuck have 

you been? you've been gone for over an hour"

"Yeah, I know. There's a girl in there, I played with her 

tits,fondled her arse,turned her round and fucked her from

behind!"

"It was great!"

"You lucky Bastard" said the other "did you get a blow job?"  

"nah" said the other,disappointedly" she didn't have a head"

Send by Rob Rowell

I married Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always. 

   Little Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to
   be confronted by his
   teacher.
   Teacher "Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?"
   Johnny "I'm sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday."
   Teacher, "Was he burned very bad?"
   Johnny, "Yes Mam, they don't fuck around at these crematoriums you
   know.
   

Q: Daddy, daddy, what's a pervert?
A: Shut up, son, and keep sucking!

Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI?

A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.