I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said,
"Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to-"
At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, "Moskowitz
and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two
Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can't you tell the
joke with other nationalities involved? Why don't you
make them Chinese for a change?"
The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said,
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. Here's the joke:
One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the
synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang's nephew..."

I've just got some awful news.

A friend of mine is in danger of losing his license
to practice medicine. He's being accused of having
sex with some of his patients.

It's such a stupid waste! He was the best veterinarian in town. 

Yep, I was reading my Bible (King James V.) last night and found a
reference to PMS.

I believe it was in Matthew.

It was something like "...and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to
Bethleham."