My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.

Advertisement painted on back of a delivery truck: 

South 
Eastern 
Xpress 
Guaranteed 
Overnight 
Delivery 

(Read first letters vertically)

After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally 
land. They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked 
for items left behind. 

In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with 
a note saying "Much love, Mom." Quickly, I gave the bag to our 
gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. 

In few minutes, this announcement came over the public-
address system in the concourse:  "Would the passenger who 
lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?"