It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out.
They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their
heads in a nodding position.

    -- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a
    charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant
    operators were sleeping on the job.

"... powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a nerf ball..."
                        -- Homer Simpson

This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use
                                         whatsoever.

                                - - - Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

I am very fond of truth, but not at all of martyrdom. 

                                                    -- Voltaire

"We had gay burglars the other night.
They broke in and rearranged the furniture." 

Robin Williams.