I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Mary Hemingway: 
     "Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a
couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train 
yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything."

"Every cloud has a silver up the creek without a paddle horse."
                        -- A bunch of people, via Jason B. Standing, Esq.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to
       take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an
       old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned
       down." He cried and cried, but I think deep down he thought it was
       a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real
       Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Eat less fresh food. Eat more things containing preservatives.
Preservatives are called preservatives because they help you live longer.