"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
                        -- from the sig of Malcom Herbert

"In Russia we only had two TV channels.
Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two
consisted of a KGB officer telling you:
Turn back at once to Channel One." 

Yakov Smirnoff. 

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or
insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 

Hunter S. Thompson.

Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two
   nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary
   rights of another.
   -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

I was once walking through the forest alone.  A tree fell right in front of me
-- and I didn't hear it.