There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon

"Eat meat, whale meat, Give yourself a treat

(Shiney crappy meaty creatures)

Pull that baby off your teat, fill it`s face with whale meat

(Smiley Jappy people nourished)

Here come the whaleing fleet. Meet. Great. Yummy treat.

(Shiney crappy meaty creatures)"

A lacklustre lady of Brougham 
            Weaveth all night at her loom. 
                Anon she doth blench 
                When her lord and his wench 
            Pull a chain in the neighboring room. 

               There was an old scholar named Nick 
               Who wrote Latin and Greek with his prick. 
                    He peed a paean 
                    In the snow by the john 
               In script more than three inches thick.