A Biblical party called Ham 
               Cried, "Cuss it, I don't give a damn! 
                    My father's yard measure 
                    I view with great pleasure, 
               Such a bloody great battering ram!" 

                                  Boot It
                                      
                          (to the tune of Beat It)
     
   
    You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead,
    Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed,
    The system just crashed, but don't lose your head,
    Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT.

    Better think fast, better do what you can,
    Read the manual or call your system man,
    Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan,
    So BOOT IT,

    Get the system manager to
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Even though you'd rather shoot it.
    Don't be upset, it's only some glitch.
    All that you do is flip a little switch.
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Get right down and restitute it.
    Don't get excited, all is not lost.
    CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS
    Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it...

    You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two,
    The system says your jobs at the head of the queue,
    Right then the thing dies but you know what to do,
    BOOT IT.

    You always get so worried when the system runs slow,
    And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low,
    But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know)
    So BOOT IT,

    Call the local guru to
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Go ahead re-institute it.
    If you're not lucky, get the book off the shelf,
    But if you are, it'll do it itself.
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Then go find the guy who screwed it!
    Operating systems are built to bounce back,
    Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack.

    BOOT IT!     BOOT IT!
  

A fellow with love-making flair 
               Was licking his sweetie "down there." 
                    He said, as some gas 
                    Escaped from her ass, 
               "Thank God for a breath of fresh air!" 

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP
WITH THE BOY ACROSS THE STREET
WONT MY DADDY BE DISGUSTED 
ONCE HE SEE'S MY CHERRY'S BUSTED
AND WONT MY MOMMY BE SURPRISED
WHEN SHE SEE'S MY BELLY RISE

Sent by JESSICA

Here's to old King Montezuma, 
               For fun he would bugger a puma. 
                    The puma in play 
                    Clawed both balls away--- 
               How's that for animal humor?