A quick witted astronaut, Dwight,
When asked about his upcoming flight,
Did he have worry one
'Bout landing on the sun ?
"Heck no, we're landing at night!" 

   THE CREATION OF A VAGINA
   Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
   Created a pussy to their design.
   First was a butcher, smart with wit,
   Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
   Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
   With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
   Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
   By using red velvet, he lined it within.
   Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
   With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
   Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
   He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
   Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
   He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
   Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
   He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt
   


  

My face in the mirror
                isn't wrinkled or drawn;
        My house isn't dirty,
                the cobwebs are gone.
        My garden looks lovely,
                and so does my lawn;
        I think I might never
                put my glasses back on!

There was a young couple named Kelly
Who were seemly connected at belly,
     Because in their haste
     They used library paste
Which they thought was vaginal jelly.

If you're speaking of actions immoral 
               Then how about giving the laurel 
                    To doughty Queen Esther, 
                    No three men could best her--- 
               One fore, one aft, and one oral.