Here I sit, I'm at a loss
   trying to shit out taco sauce.
   When it comes, I hope and pray,
   I don't blow my ass away.


  

A widow whose singular vice 
               Was to keep her late husband on ice 
                    Said, "It's been hard since I lost him--- 
                    I'll never defrost him! 
               Cold comfort, but cheap at the price," 

There was a young man of Newminster Court 
            Bugger'd a pig, but his prick was too short. 
                Said the hog, "It's not nice, 
                But pray take my advice: 
            Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught."

               There was a young fellow named Gluck 
               Who found himself shit out of luck. 
                    Though he petted and wooed, 
                    When he tried to get screwed 
               He found virgins just don't give a fuck. 

               There was a young girl in Berlin 
               Who ecked out a living through sin. 
                    She didn't mind fucking, 
                    But much preferred sucking, 
               And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.