There was a young man from Venice 
            Who played a good game of lawn tennis. 
                But the game he liked best, 
                Far more than the rest, 
            Was played with two balls and a pennis. 

There once was a geologist named Wassal, 
            Who one day found a colossal fossil. 
                He could tell by the bend, 
                And the knob at the end, 
            That it was the peter of Paul, the apostile. 

   Some come here to sit and think,
   Some come here to shit and stink,
   But I come here to scratch my balls,
   And read the bullshit on the walls...


  

There was a young lady from France
Who got on a bus in a trance
Everyone f*cked her
Apart from the Conductor
But he came twice in his pants

There was a young lady named Maude 
            A terrible society fraud: 
                In company, I'm told 
                She was awfully cold. 
            But if you got her alone, Oh My God!