Special High Intensity Teaching



Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well
taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any 
other school. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. 
on the course, please see your lecturer.  You will be immediately placed 
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled
at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).  Those who fail to 
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE 
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).  Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they 
graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of 
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
teaching others.  We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).


Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

A Chinese man is making love to his wife.  He whispers in her ear,
"Baby, I wanna' 69!"

She gives him a strange look and replies, 
"You want Beef and Broccoli NOW?"

Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey was arrested
at the airport for drug smuggling?

It seems she bent over and someone saw fifty
pounds of crack.... 

Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park.
Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. 
Suzie asked, "You wanna play doctor?" 
Johnny replied, "NO, that too old fashioned.
Spit out you gum, I wanna play president."

   One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse
   slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which
   was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and
   then about 200 men walking in single file.
   
   Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and
   asked him who was in the first hearse.
   
   "My wife," the man replied.
   
   "I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?"
   
   "My dog bit her and she died."
   
   Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.
   
   The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as
   well."
   
   Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I
   borrow your dog?"
   
   To which the man replied, "Get in line."