Q.  What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
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A.  Speed bumps

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it
cause it was prettier than most.
The clerk said, "It's made in Germany".
I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then".
The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"
I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."

What do you get if you cross your missus with a pit bull?

Your very last headjob.

   A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th
   anniversary. As the couple
   reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the
   husband, "When you
   first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your
   mind?"
   The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out,
   and suck your tits
   dry."
   Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
   He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
   

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
            A: Her crayons are still sticky.