Father Goose Story No. 9



   Once there was a King who was loved by all of his subjects, especially
because of the hunting excursions he shared with them.  As will happen,
one day he died and his eldest son took the throne.  Now this new king
was an animal-lover to the core, and immediately outlawed all forms of
hunting and fishing.  His subjects accepted this for only a short time
before they ousted him.  This is a truly significant event, because it's
the first time a reign was called on account of the game.

A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in
the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.

The farmer said, "There might be a problem.  You see, I only have room for
two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn."

"No problem," spoke the Rabbi.  "My people wandered in the desert for forty
years.  I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening."  With that
he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.

Moments later a knock was heard at the door.  The farmer opened the door,
and there stood the Rabbi from the barn.  "What's wrong?" asked the farmer.

He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn.  There is
a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."

His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him.  But a few minutes late
the same scene occurs.  There is a knock on the door.  "What's wrong, now?"
the farmer asked.

The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out, but
there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred.  I
can't sleep on holy ground!"

Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change.  He grumbled and
complained, but went out to the barn.  Moments later there was another
knock on the farmer's door.  Frustrated and tired, the farmer opened the
door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the
living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to fix some
drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the
mantel.

He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says,
"What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He turns beat red in horror and goes, "Oh, well, er...I..."

She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."

"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, 
I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when 
you are sober."

A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm when
one day he walks out behind the barn and sees his
grandfather playing with himself.
The boy says, "What are you doing grandpa, jacking off?"
Grandpa replies, "No sonny, just jacking!"