Michele's son was attending the  Cub Scout meeting.  One of
the other parents there asked what was going to happen
Thanksgiving week -- was there going to be a meeting or not. 
The Scout Leader replied, (no kidding), "We'll just have to
see what day Thanksgiving falls on this year."

The funniest thing I ever did was when I was borrowing my Dads car and I 
had to get gas. My Dad had a bad accident a few years back and he had both
ankles surgically redone. So his car has handicap plates and I guess they
have some rule that you have to give them full service at self serve 
pumps.
The attendent came out and I waved him off without looking up from the
nozzle. He tried to figure out why I had handicap plates so I thought it 
was a good time for a trick.
I went to give him the money and I kept on bumping into things like the 
pump and when I went to give him the money I felt each individual bill and 
did the same when he gave me change. The whole time I spoke to him I 
staired into space( btw I was wearing dark sunglasses) . I walked out of 
the station running into everything and bumping my head when I got into my 
car.
The attendent asked me, "How do you drive."
I replied with, "What do you mean?"
He answered with, "Are'nt you partially blind?"
I ended with "No I am completely blind, I am driving a specially equiped 
car."
I then sped away driving over the curb. In the rear view mirror I saw a 
station attendent with his jaw on the floor.

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE

"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."
(Tom, 7)

"Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love."
(Roger, 8)

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you
never take out the trash."  (Randy, 8)