Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's 
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.  The award 
was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a 
little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it 
repeatedly with a pellet gun.

When Linda was moving out of her place, she'd found a bag of 
marijuana seeds in the dresser drawer.  She tossed 'em out 
into the raised vegetable beds.  "A few months later, a friend 
called me and told me that my ex had been busted by the cops 
for growing pot in the back yard!"

When asked by the Pope (I forget which one) what the Catholic Church
could do for music, Igor Stravinsky is reputed to have answered without
hesitation: "Give us back castrati!"