I had some surgery on my shoulder about 5 or 6 years ago, and 
then underwent several weeks of physical therapy. On my final 
visit, the therapist gave me some exercises to do at home, 
informing me I'd need a partner to help me with them. That 
night my husband and I celebrated my recovery with an 
especially boisterous romp in the boudoir.  The next morning I 
told him I had some exercises for my shoulder that I needed his 
help with. With a sly grin he asked, "Did we do any of them
last night?"

At one job I had, the boss man got the idea that the IT
department should be living up to the slogan, "Giving every
user what they need."

I politely requested, "How do we get them to turn around so
we can kick them in the ass?" It went over quite well, the room
fell out laughing. I don't work there any more.

Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.