Ladies Night Out.

So ... the other day, three friends and I went to this 
"Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us, 
so she pulls out a $10 bill.  The "dancer" came over to us, 
and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
         
Not to be outdone, my second friend pulls out a $20 bill.  
She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it 
on his other butt cheek.
         
Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my third friend 
pulls out a $50 bill.  She calls the guy back over again, 
licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt 
cheeks.
        
Now the attention is focused on me.  What could I do to top 
that?  I got out my wallet, thought for a minute ... and 
then the financial analyst in me took over.
        
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, 
grabbed the $80 bucks and went home.



Sent by Neicey

Tech Support:    "All right...now double-click
on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because
of the icons.-I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe
in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'.
I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little
picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]

[News of the Weird, 18 May 93, San Jose Mercury News]
A 24-year-old salesman from Hialeah, Fla., was killed near Lantana, Fla.,
in March when his car smashed into a pole in the median strip of
Interstate 95 in the middle of the afternoon.  Police said that the man
was traveling at 80 MPH and, judging by the sales manual that was found
open and clutched to his chest, had been busy reading.