Sign in a Bucharest hotel lobby: 

    The lift is being fixed for the next day.
    During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. 

Between my post-USMC and my present mathematician era, I 
was a cop. A judge who later ended up on the 2d District Court 
of Appeals told me once, "The only differences between 
lawyers and protitutes are that prostitutes are generally better 
looking and more honest about how they make a living."

When we were looking to buy property I had this over zealous 
realtor show us what can only be described as a totally worn-
out old farm. I mean the land had just been worked to death. 
The weeds were hardly even growing. 

The smiling super salesman said, "Now really, all this land 
needs is a little water, a nice cool breeze and some good 
people." 

I replied, "Yeah, I agree, but couldn't the same be said of Hell?"