"It's true... no man is an island... but if you take a bunch of dead guys and
 tie 'em together, they make a pretty good raft."

-- Bug Eyed Earl, Red Meat.

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to
find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
       
                                - Lewis Grizzard

Killing time murders opportunities.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you
    have, for instance. 

                                         --Franklin P. Jones

"Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable
 to a fine of one pound.  Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed
 a cat."
                        -- Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London