There are two sentences inscribed upon the Ancient oracle...
               "Know thyself" and "Nothing too much"; and upon these all   
               other precepts depend.                                      

                                                       Plutarch (46-120 A.D.)

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel
like getting married, they send over a lady in a
housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. 

                                   -- Dick Martin

When I have been asked during these last weeks who
caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer
has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the
riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for
the killings? The killers are to blame. 

    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President on the complex
                  social issues behind the
                  Los Angeles Riots 

"no, tom waits. (he does, I've seen him)"
"what is he waiting on?"
"the floor"
"Oh.  Its a slow floor.  He'll be waiting a while."
"yeah... but Godot should be here soon"
                        -- myself and Sabrina, on #polyamory

"Kent put his name on his license plate."
"My mother does the same thing with my underware."
"Your mother puts license plates in your underware?"

                                    --Chris to Mitch in 'Real Genuis'