There was an old man from Pinole 
               Who always got in the wrong hole, 
                    And when he withdrew, 
                    All covered with goo, 
               His temper was out of control. 

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                    There was a young girl with a pretty-ass,
                            
                    And her habits were neat but invidious.
                            She would wipe with a taper
                            Of scented blue paper,
                            
                    Since she was so very fastidious.
                            

There was a young fellow named Simon 
            Who tried to discover a hymen, 
                But he found every girl 
                Had relinquished her pearl 
            In exchange for a solitaire diamond. 

A modest young girl named Oola
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula
A cow ate the grass
Exposing her ass
Now she's no longer modest but coola 

                    The Bishop of Solomons diocese
                            
                    Was stricken with elephantiasis,
                            The public beheld
                            His balls as they swelled
                            
                    By paying exorbitant priocese.