There was a young girl of Cohoes
               Who jerked herself off with her nose. 
                    She said, "Yes, I done it, 
                    But just for the fun it 
               Afforded the folk of Cohoes." 

There was a young lady of Spain 
               Whose face was excessively plain 
                    But her cunt had a pucker 
                    That made the men fuck'er 
               Again and again and again. 

A morbid young lady named Jean 
               Was known as the Masochist Queen. 
                    She used thistles and cacti 
                    In pursuit of her practi, 
               In a manner both odd and obscene. 

There was a young lady named Gloria
Who had sex with Sir Wilfred DuMoria,
Then with 26 men,
Sir Wilfred again,
And the band from the Waldorf- Astoria.

A Fishy 'Tail' of Woe

I've been hooked
I've been iced
I've been scaled
and then sliced

I've been stacked
I've been looked at
dipped in batter
and cooked in fat

I've been sold
I've been bought
then been wrapped
next to a chook

I've been driven
I've been opened
served with chips
who have not spoken

I've been picked at
I've been deboned
drenched in lemon juice
I feel so alone

I've been forked
I've been cut
I think I'm running
out of luck

Now he bites me
And despite me
best efforts
I'm done...like a dinner!

Copyright; Arcadia Flynn