A newlywed couple from Goshen 
               Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. 
                    In twenty-eight days 
                    They got laid eighty ways--- 
               Imagine such fucking devotion. 

Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent! 
               Her cunt is so dreadfully bent, 
                    The poor wench doth stammer, 
                    "I need a sledgehammer 
               To pound a man into my vent." 

Nymphomaniacal Alice 
               Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. 
                    They found her vagina 
                    In North Carolina, 
               And her asshole in Buckingham Palace. 

               There once was a Bactrian camel 
               Who was bound by no fetter or trammel. 
                    When he tried to make hay 
                    In his Bactrian way, 
               His wife said, "Make me; I'm a mammal." 

               There was a young lady from France 
               Supposed to play at a dance, 
                    She ate a banana 
                    And played the piano 
               And music came out of her pants.