There was a young woman of Croft
Who played with herself in a loft.
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they did not go soft. 

There was a young man from St. Paul's
Who read Harper's Bazaar and McCall's
Till he grew such a passion
For feminine fashion
That he knitted a snood for his balls. 

A fellow whose surname was Hunt 
               Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt: 
                    This versatile spout 
                    Could be turned inside out, 
               Like a glove, and be used as a cunt. 

As His Holiness signed my petition 
               He said,"I take this position: 
                    Here shines a clean mind, 
                    For nowhere can I find 
               A single lubricious omission!" 

On a bridge overlooking a ravine
Archibald was screwing Kathleen.
The force of his lunge
Caused the whole bridge to plunge.
The worst fucking disaster yet seen.