Q: What do you call a woman with no asshole?
A: Divorced.

What is the last thing you usually hear before a 
                                         redneck dies?


                                         'Hey y'all... Watch this!' 

What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame?

Virgin on the ridiculous.

Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own 
defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" 

The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what 
will happen if you don't tell the truth?" 

The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win." 

Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts with two of their
herd simultaneously. One turns to the other, disgustedly, and says,

"I hear they're doing this to women in Chicago!"