After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old 
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As 
she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her 
patience grew thin.  At last she threw a towel around her head 
and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern 
warnings.  As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old 
say with a trembling voice,  "Who was *that*?"

How many Poles does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

    I don't know. I havn't find one that could do it yet. 

What did the lawyer name his daughter? 

Sue.

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911
operator told Bubba that she would send someone out
right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you
pick her up there?"

Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?
A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob !