An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing
problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and
they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than
twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for
seven days and comeback and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I
don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting
just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for
yourself?".

"Calm down, Mrs.Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed
your
sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."

What do you do when a Rottweiler gets amorous on your leg?

Fake an orgasm.

Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local
minister  comes walking around the corner.
The minister says, "My, Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving that
sheep  a beating.  You wouldn't do that to your wife, would you?"
The farmer says, "I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I 
tried to mount her!

   PUPPY LOVE

   A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs
   mating. The little boy
   asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son,
   they're making a
   puppy." The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went
   from his bed to get a
   glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked
   unannounced into his parents
   bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
   Confused, the boy
   asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly
   to his
   impressionanle little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little
   brother. "The little boy
   replied ,"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
   

Q: How do you give a woman an orgasm?
A: Who Cares!