Did you hear that there was a plane wreck in England. The little
two-seater crashed right into grave yard. The rescue teams have
already found 1529 bodies.

Overheard on the elevator: 

    "Their marriage was going O.K. until they bought a water bed... then they started
    drifting apart." 

Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were out on
the Berwickshire moors with a radar gun recently, happily engaged
in apprehending speeding motorists, when their equipment suddenly
locked-up completely with an unexpected reading of well over
300 mph. The mystery was explained seconds later as a low flying
Harrier hurtled over their heads. The boys in blue, upset at the damage
to their radar gun, put in a complaint to the RAF, but were somewhat
chastened when the RAF pointed out that the damage might well have
been more severe. The Harrier's target-seeker had locked on to the
'enemy' radar and triggered an automatic retaliatory air-to-surface missile
attack. Luckily(?) the Harrier was operating unarmed.