Nearly everyone knows that Judith Martin, better known as
Miss Manners, the syndicated columnist, is exceedingly correct.
Last week, she saw an advertisement in the newspaper that a
Maryland jewelry store was having a sale in her silver pattern.
Upon arriving at the store, she told the jeweler she was
looking for additional dessert spoons in her pattern and had
been making do with the larger soup spoons.

"That's not much of a hardship," the employee said. "It is
for me," Martin responded. Caught up in the moment, the
saleswoman joked, "Who do you think you are, Miss Manners?"
The easily recognizable Miss Manners looked at the woman,
unable to respond. And then it registered. "Oh my God!"
the saleswoman said. 

from the Jan 26 San Jose Mercury News 

I wanted to make an impression at a family reunion and remember the 
names of all of the new husband's family members.  There was one 
gent whom I'd asked his name and tried very to remember but failed 
repeatedly.  Finally he bailed me out and said his name was Dick.  
Without a thought I quickly said, "Gosh, how could I forget?  You 
*look* like a 'Dick'!!!"

Before we were married Wife used to always say, "You're only 
interested in one thing." Trouble is now though, after 36 years, 
I've forgotten what the hell it was.